The Positive Effects
by Kessy Kate
Summary: Will Brian finally say the 3 words Justin has been waiting to hear, since that night at Brians loft? And what extreme events will occur in order to change Brians perspective on life? UPDATED. CHAPTER 4 ADDED.
1. Consequences

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Queer as Folk, or any of the characters in this story. They belong to Cowlip and Showtime. I'm just borrowing them, to create a story to cure my boredom.

**CHAPTER 1 PART 1**

_Consequences_

Justin may not have known Brian to be so cold at the beginning, but he knew now that that was who Brian was, and there was no changing it. Brian just wasn't a romantic like he was, and Justin didn't think he ever would be.

Justin sniffed the pillow Brian slept on, sweeping him back to memories of them being together. Justin loved thinking of him, just the thought of Brian, filled him with warmth. But then as soon as he starting thinking about all the wonderful times he'd had with Brian, he started to remember all the things he'd regretted, shuddering at the memory of how he left Brian for Ethan that one night at the Rage party at Babylon. Although he knew Brian forgave him, or at least he thought he did, part of him wondered if Brian was still wounded from being shut out like that. He found out from Michael that after that night, Brian had been pretty fucked up, he even started fucking random guys who looked like Justin. Although it was a bit creepy, it was obvious that Brian had missed him, and Justin knew it.

Justin heard the door sliding open, and then shut.

Brian walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer.

Justin knew he'd sit down on the couch, not taking any notice of his presence. Justin stripped off his clothes, and walked over to Brian and stood behind him, he was flipping through some papers. Justin started to massage Brian, commenting on how tense Brian was, to which Brian replied "That's what you get after a day full of servicing the clients."

Justin wasn't really sure whether there was a hidden message in "servicing", or not, but he was used to it just as well, so he ignored the comment, and continued massaging Brian.

Brian sighed, "You're pretty good with your hands."

"You should know that by now." Justin replied while smirking as Brian looked up at him.

Brian suddenly noticed that Justin was completely naked, and pulled him down onto the couch, and starting kissing him passionately. Justin unbuttoned Brian's jeans and slid his hand into Brian's underwear. Brian sighed, and pulled off his pants, kissing Justin's neck and chest. Justin pulled Brian's face up to his, and kissed him deeply, they spent another 5 minutes kissing eachother, when finally Brian lifted up Justin's legs over his shoulders, and while continuing to kiss Justin, grabbed a condom, ripped it open, put it on, and then entered Justin.

Justin moaned, as he wrapped his legs around Brian's waist.

Justin was completely wrapped up in him.

Just as Brian and Justin, were both about to come, there was a knock on the door.

"Fuck" sighed Brian, as he continued anyways, as he wasn't going to stop just because someone was knocking on the door.

Brian came, as did Justin, and they groaned in unison.

So finally Brian got up as the knocking contined.

"Alright, hold your fucking horses!" Brian said loudly before opening to door.

It was a trick from a few months back, his name was "Uhh... Steve?" Brian guessed. "Chris" the boy replied. "Ah right... Chris.. What the fuck do you want?"

"Well, the night after we slept together, I went and got tested... and... well.... it turns out I'm positive."

"Positive about what?" Brian said, not really knowing what else to say.

"HIV Positive" he answered.

Brian just stood there, again not knowing what to say, or think. Justin ran up to Brian after pulling on some boxers, and said "So why are you telling him? You got infected from someone else you randomly fucked, get out of here!"

"Well, I didn't have sex with anyone, between when we slept together and when I got tested."

"Well, that doesn't mean I have it! And why the fuck did you wait 4 months to tell me?" Brian said blankly.

"Brian" Justin said as he shut the door in Chris' face. "You have to get tested, what if you're-"

"-What if nothing Justin, I'm not infected, I can't be ok? Now, where were we?"

Brian started to kiss Justin, but Justin pushed away, and Brian saw the look of terror on Justins face. He just looked at Justin for a minute, then he grabbed him, and held him, as Justin broke down, and started to cry.

**CHAPTER 1 PART 2**

_What To Do?_

Brian just held him, he didn't even want to think about how Justin might feel, at the thought of losing him. Probably the same as Brian felt at the thought of losing Justin. Brian shuddered, and Justin looked up at him with a questioning look on his face.

"Nothing." Brian said as he wiped the tears from Justins face, and kissed him tenderly. As soon as Brian pulled away Justin began to cry again. He started to apologize saying "Sorry, sorry, I'm being a stupid, why the fuck am I crying? Sorry, I just...." he stopped as Brian gave him a look that told him to stop apologizing because it was fine.

Justin collapsed onto the couch, as he broke down sobbing uncontrollably. Brian didn't know what to do other than hold him. He sat down and embraced Justin, wanting to never let him go, never. Brian thought to himself, saying, 'I never thought this would happen to me'. Then said aloud "Why me?" He didn't realize he had said it out loud, until Justin looked up at him. "What do you mean _why you_?" Justin questioned. "What the fuck do you think I mean!" Brian said, rather loudly. "I was safe! I used condoms! After all this, cancer, and you being bashed over the head, why do I have to go through more shit, why me!" He screamed, to no one in particular, but seeing the look on Justins face, made him realize he had hurt the young man's feelings a little.

"What does me taking a baseball bat to the head have to do with anything?" Justin said, already knowing the answer as soon as he had opened his mouth.

"You know what I mean, I mean.. _us_.. why do _we_ have to go through more shit." Brian said, hoping Justin wouldn't hear the hint of uncertainty in his voice.

But he did.

"You didn't say _we_ you said _I_, and I hate to break this to you, but I think that, being the one who was at the wrong end of the baseball bat, I was the one with the shit end of the stick." Justin said not knowing what Brian was about to say.

"Really? You had the shit end of the stick? How do you think I felt coming to see you every night, seeing you lying there, helpless, tied to all those machines, which were the only things keeping you alive. Do you know what its like to see someone you love so much you cant even bring yourself to say it, lying in a bed, which may be where he dies? And you have no idea whats going to happen to him?, If you're ever going to talk to him again?, See his smile? Kiss him one last time? Tell him that you really do love him?"

Justin just stared at Brian with a completely confused look, as a million things were running through his head at that moment.

"I...." Justin tried to speak but he couldn't.

Brian then realized what he had just said, in the heat of the moment, and it was something he never thought he would ever say.

Brian looked down and started to fidget with his shell bracelet. Then soft hands lifted his chin up, and he looked at Justin. "I love you too" Justin said. Brian wanted so badly to say those words "I love you. I LOVE YOU!" he screamed inside, but instead he just sat there staring at his bracelet.

Justin broke the silence by saying "Look, I'm going to bed."

Brian was silent.

"Are you coming?" Justin continued.

Brian couldn't speak, he didn't know what to say, or do, he could barely move, he felt numb.

"Brian, please, come on."

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Dodging Bullets

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Queer As Folk, or any of the characters in this story. They belong to Cowlip and Showtime. I'm just borrowing them, to create a story to cure my boredom.

**CHAPTER 2**

_Dodging Bullets_

Brian just walked over to the bed, with a blank look on his face, collapsed into the pillows, and curled up into himself.

Justin knew there was nothing he could say that would make Brian feel better, so he just walked over to the bed, got under the covers, and held Brian, he knew that's exactly what both of them needed.

Brian woke up, still feeling arms wrapped tightly around him, and he didnt want them to let go. So as soon as Justin started to awake, and moved away, Brian grabbed his arms, and wrapped them around himself again, and closed his eyes not wanting to get up.

Justin just smiled to himself, and kissed Brian's back lightly.

Brian turned around and buried his face in Justin's chest. Justin felt Brian shaking, as he noticed Brian was beginning to cry. Never, Justin thought, never would he have thought Brian would cry, in front of him, I mean Michael maybe, Lindsay maybe, but never him.

Although Justin dreaded this moment, he knew they had to get up, and go to the clinic to get Brian tested.

But as soon as he inhaled to speak, Brian just said "Yeah, ok." and he stood up and walked into the shower, Justin following behind him.

They showered together pretty much all the time now.

This time they were just showering, and that was a first.

As they walked into the Liberty Diner, they heard Debbies happy shouts of "Sunshine! Where they fuck have you been! Up all night fucking?" she said with a smirk. Justin just smiled, and Brian sunk down into a booth looking the same as everyday. Justin looked at Brian, and Brian gave him a look that said "Dont say a word about last night, or I'll have your balls for breakfast." Even though Justin already knew not to say anything.

"So what'll it be guys?" Debbie said in her usual chipper tone.

"Coffee, black." said Brian.

"Um, I'm not hungry, I'm fine, thanks."

Debbie looked at Justin, sensing something. "What's wrong?" she said. Justin looked over at Brian, and he didn't even so much as glance up at Justin from the table.

"Oh no, it's nothing" Justin said as he smiled nervously. "I just ate something bad, and I was throwing up all night last night so I'm giving my stomach a bit of a break."

"Uh huh." Debbie said, popping her gum loudly, not believing a word that came out of Justin's mouth.

Just then Ted, Emmet and Michael walked into the diner.

"Fuck.." Brian mumbled to himself, but Justin heard. He knew the last thing Brian wanted was to face his friends right now. So Justin ran up to the 3 of them, and managed to distract them so Brian could sneak out of the diner, and drive off. But Emmet saw his Jeep speeding away.

"Why is Brian leaving so soon?"

"Hmm?" said Michael and Ted in unison.

Justin just looked at the three of them and said "Oh, he uh.. just has a meeting with new client, and he can't be late, you know him, always trying to impress the boss"

Michael, Emmet and Ted all looked confused and Michael said "But he IS the boss."

"Uh right, well still he can't lose a client because of staying to talk with friends" Justin laughed nervously.

"Right." Said Ted flatly.

He knew he had led them to believe something was wrong.

'Shit' he thought to himself. 'Now they know somethings wrong, oh well, act normal, change the subject'.

"So how are you guys doing? Michael? How's the newly married couple?" Justin asked trying not to think about Brian, as he smirked at Michael.

"Um.. fine." Michael replied, knowing Justin was trying to change the subject.

Ted understanding this said "Well I'm off, since I work for Brian, I should be trying to impress the boss." Justin gave him a look of gratitude, and asked for a ride to the clinic, telling the 3 of them the same lie he fed Debbie, "food poisoning". Since he knew Brian was at the clinic, he wanted to be there when he was tested.

Ted accepted, and Justin hopped into the car as they drove off.


	3. The Verdict

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Queer as Folk, or any of the characters in this story. They belong to Cowlip and Showtime. I'm just borrowing them, to create a story to cure my boredom.

**CHAPTER 3**

_The Verdict_

"Well, it'll be a few days before I get the results" the doctor said as Brian got up and put on his jacket. "Alright" Brian mumbled. "I'll be phoning you once I know, I assume the number you gave me is your home number?" the doctor questioned, causing Brian to smirk "Yeah." he said.

As Brian walked out of the doctors office he saw Justin racing up to him, and as he tried to give him a hug, Brian pushed him away. Causing Justin to give him a odd glare. "What?" Brian said. Justin just looked at him. "So? Are you? Or not?" Justin asked, rather hesitantly. "Don't you think if I knew I'd either be hanging myself, or fucking the doctor?" "Fine then." Justin said as he turned and started walking away.

"Wait.. wait, I'm - how did you get here? I don't see Daphne's car... you didn't tell anyone did you?!" Brian shouted

"I'm not even going to justify that with an answer" Justin said, not even turning around to look at Brian.

Brian ran after Justin, spun him around and hugged him. Justin just continued to walk after Brian let him out of his embrace. So Brian ran after him again, stood in front of him, grabbed the back of his neck, and started to kiss him.

He looked Justin in the eyes, and said "I'm sorry"

Justin couldn't help but forgive those sweet yet sinful hazel eyes. "I know." He whispered. Then the walked back to the loft together. Once they got there, Brian pushed Justin up against the wall and started kissing his neck, and chin. Justin wasn't really sure this was a good idea. Just as Brian was about to pull of Justin's shirt, Justin said "Look, um.. do you really think now is the best time to be doing this?" Brian rolled his eyes. "Well when would you like to do it? When I'm old and diseased, and on deaths door? This may be the last fuck you get from me, before Im wasting away in a hospital bed." Justin just stared at Brian "Don't talk like that, that's not going to happen to you, besides you don't even know if you're positive yet!"

Lindsay let out a gasp, and both Brian and Justin turned around and stared at her.

"Positive? What's going on here?" She said.

"Nothing! Don't you people knock first?" Brian said angrily. "The door was open, you guys really should think about closing your door, _before_ you go at it, and anyways thats not the point, the point is-" "The point" Brian interjected "Is that you shouldn't be here asking questions about things that are none of your fucking business!" Lindsay just stood there, and said "Look Brian, you know me, and trying to intimidate me, or acting like a complete dick, isn't going to make me go away, now tell me what the fuck is going on!"

After Brian and Justin explained everything, Lindsay got up and hugged Brian. Then she said "Well, let me know when you find out the results, if you need anything-" "Yeah, yeah I'll call you, now will you get the fuck out of here?" Brian grinned. Lindsay smiled, then started descending the stairs.

"Well... What do you want to do now?" Justin asked Brian, who just grinned, but when he saw Justin give him a look that said "Don't be stupid" he just shrugged and flopped down into his bed.

The past few days had been hell, for Brian, Justin and Lindsay, although none of them could show it, because no one else knew, and they couldn't.

The phone rang, and Justin picked up (instinctively) and Brian stood there, wanting to know if it was for him or not, but Justin just stood there, said "Mhmm" a few times, and then hung up.

"Well, who the fuck was it?" Brian asked, while getting out some peanut butter. "Uh. it- w-was" Justin stuttered "W-w-w-w-was who?" Brian mocked. "The clinic" Justin said, as he stared blankly ahead of him.

"So? Am I going to die old and alone? Or should I be undressing right about now." Brian joked.

Justin just stared at him, as tears started to run down his cheeks.


	4. The Meaning of it All

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Queer as Folk, or any of the characters in this story. They belong to Cowlip and Showtime. I'm just borrowing them, to create a story to cure my boredom.

**CHAPTER 4**

_The Meaning of it All_

When Justin woke up he felt soft breathing on the back of his neck. He smiled to himself, then turned around and nuzzled into Brian's chest. He was trying to figure out how Brian must feel, after all hes gone through and now this.

"Morning" Brian mumbled sleepily, interrupting Justin's thoughts. "Mmmm..." Justin streched, and grinned, looking up at Brian.

"How are you feeling?" Justin said quietly, while still pressing himself into Brian. Brian lightly kissing Justin's forhead, said "Never been better" and Justin couldn't help but grin, causing Brian to grin as well.

"I guess we should get up." Justin said running his hands through Brian's hair. "Why? What's the rush?" Brian said gently caressing Justin's back.

Justin smiled, and rolled Brian over onto his back, and he didn't resist, he liked it when Justin took the lead. So Brian just layed there, and melted into Justin's lips. Brian hadn't even realized where he was when he opened his eyes seeing Justin grinning above him. 'Fuck, that was some kiss' Brian thought to himself.

"Yeah it was" Justin said aloud. It was amazing. How did Justin always know what he was thinking? Brian thought to himself finally coming to a realization, he grabbed Justin for another kiss, and Justin pulled at Brians shorts, freeing his now full erection.

Someone was knocking at their door again, so Justin and Brian quickly pulled on some shorts.

"Jesus Christ, do we have to lock ourselves away in a fucking bubble to get any privacy?" Brian said loudly.

"It's Lindsay!" she said through the door, sounding worried, and anxious.

"Ok, just a sec." Justin said quietly to Brian, while he pulled on some clothes.

Brian opened the door, and saw Lindsay standing there, with Gus.

"Hey Sonny Boy" Brian said, and Gus smiled, causing Brian to smile. He loved Gus, he was such a beautiful boy.

"So?" Lindsay said, not wanting to wait another minute.

As Lindsay got up from her very long hug with Brian, she picked up Gus, gave Justin a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, and walked towards the door, smiling as she turned around. Then she closed the loft door, and Brian ran over to make sure it was locked.

"Now," Brian said "where were we?" Justin smiled and walked over to him, and pulled down his shorts, placing his hand over Brian's crotch. "Right about there, I believe"

Justin took off his clothes as quickly and messily as he had put them on when Lindsay had suprised them. Then jumping on the bed, he sat there, looking at Brian. Brian was just standing there, looking out the window, and then he turned and looked at Justin, and smiled faintly.

He then sat next to Justin on the bed, and hugged him, pulling him closer. Justin just looked at him, as his mood had changed, before they were really getting into it, and now Brian just looked like he wanted to hold him.

Brian began to kiss Justin passionately thinking to himself 'What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful person, like Justin? Who puts up with all my shit, and would never think twice about whether this was where he belonged or not.' Then he looked Justin in the eyes touched his fingers to his lips, gently caressed the faded scar where he was hit with the baseball bat, then placed his hand over Justin's heart, never letting his eyes leave Justins.

Justin thought to himself. He looked at Brian, and Brian stared back, Justin seeing something in his eyes he had never seen before, the same toughness you could always see. But this time, it was softer, he looked almost like a child. So Justin kissed Brian's chest softly, and said "I love you too."


End file.
